Easter 2011

 Grandma and Grandpa White put on the Annual White Family Easter Egg Hunt.  It was a HUGE HIT!  Jaxon had a great time gathering up all the eggs with his name on them.  I was hoping he would get all the KitKat's for me...but he loves Crunch bars and picked what he wanted.  

 

 Jaxon LOVES Easter.  He is growing up fast, and it's nice to watch him turn into such a cute little man!

 Jaxon with some of his cousins

White White Family Cousin Pyramid!

Happy Easter!

An answered prayer!

So...since my last post... I'm Pregnant!

I can't believe it happened so fast. I'm 12 weeks now, and I'm excited to make it out of my first trimester in the coming weeks. I tried really hard to keep this a secret, but John was so excited...at 9 weeks he went to church without me (morning sickness) and shared the news!

I'm excited and nervous at the same time. I've learned that pregnancy never has any "safe" moments, so I'm cautious all the time, but not overly worried. I also know that I'm not in charge and feel so blessed that we have another chance to be parents.

I'm still working, going to school, and doing scouts. Some weeks it feels like too much. I'm cutting down my classes this summer so I have mixed feelings about that as well - but this pregnancy is definitely taking priority!

I have been maintaining my weight so far, and have gained 2lbs (which is good considering how much I gained with Jaxon). I am trying to eat healthy (even when bagels are the only thing that sounds good...and makes me feel good). I am hoping to only gain 25lbs during this entire pregnancy, so I'm crossing my fingers I feel well, and exercise can still be a part of my pregnancy. I was trying to loose another 10lbs, but right now...that's definitely put on hold.

Jaxon has been so cute! After my last miscarriage...he had mixed feelings about having a brother or sister. A few weeks after my D&C Jaxon came up to me, hugged me, and told me that he had decided he wants a brother or sister. When I asked him why...he said "well, I decided that if I don't have a brother or sister - that my kids won't have any aunts or uncles." What a smart kid! I am so lucky to have him. He has been a super great strength to me, and is learning and growing all the time. I feel so blessed.

I also feel so blessed to have had such wonderful support from friends and family. Thank you, Thank you!

Miscarriage #...

I've debated on whether or not I wanted to post anything about my latest miscarriage experience. But, I've discovered an overwhelming support from those who have been through similar experiences, and I've been so uplifted and forever changed - so I've decided to write a little about the experience.

We found out we were expecting on Christmas Eve. It was a wonderful surprise for us, and we were filled with hope, and a little fear. I immediately scheduled an appointment with my OB, since my last pregnancy in 2007 ended in ectopic rupture and removal of my tube. I walked on pins and needles for a few weeks while we anxiously waited to find out if...in fact, this pregnancy was in my tube, or in my uterus. Finally, the all of the results were in, and everything was fine. The sac was in my uterus, and the fetal pole was located. We were thrilled. We thought that we had passed all the "scary" parts of pregnancy that we had previously experienced.

We told Jaxon, and were planning on announcing at exactly the 13 week mark on Valentines Day.

Because my pregnancy are all considered "high-risk" I had weekly monitoring and ultrasounds. on Jan 21st I went in for my routine weekly visit thinking nothing of it. It seemed to take forever to finally see the Dr, but I was relieved that he had the ultrasound machine all hooked up and ready for me. He had some troubles with the machine itself, and switched machines in the middle of the ultrasound. I thought nothing of it. Then, with the newer, high-tech device...I could see the look on his face...and my thought was "uh-oh". He began to explain to me that the fetus no longer had a heartbeat and things were not looking good. I started to fade out and think to myself, "but it's not ectopic, so what's the matter"....

I finally pulled my thoughts together and understood that the baby's heartbeat had stopped on the same day of my last visit. So, it had been one week that the baby had stopped developing, and there I was thinking I was still pregnant the whole time. I still felt sick. I still had all the normal pregnancy signs, only I didn't sleep that week - not hardly at all. I woke up several times in the night wondering what in the world was keeping me from my much needed rest. Well, I know now that it was a sign that something just wasn't quite right. Almost like my body knew, but my mind was totally unaware.

The Dr. continued to explain to me that I could wait until a natural miscarriage, or have a D&C. He recommended a D&C due to the fact that there was no blood in my uterus, and it could be weeks, and even a month before my body realized that the fetus was dead.

So, the D&C was scheduled, and I broke the news to John. It was hard because after my Dr. apt I had to take a test for one of my classes, and wow, talk about not being able to focus...that was incredibly hard. As much as I wanted to break down and just cry...I couldn't - I had things to do. Finally after what seemed like forever - I left the library, and called John. He was so incredibly kind, understanding, and sad. He left work immediately and met me at home with the most incredible humongous bouquet of flowers I have ever seen. He was really remarkable. Of course, the moment I saw him...I broke down in tears. What I experienced after that was so touching and spiritual, that it's not appropriate to share on a blog, but it was a real testimony of my love for my husband, and my part in this wonderful Plan of Salvation.

The day of the D&C came soon enough. I was anxious, nervous, and ready to just get it over with. When I finally arrived home that day, I was surrounded by my true friends who made meals, called, and cared for me and my family. It was so inspiring and uplifting, it was hard to be sad, but I was truly morning the loss of this pregnancy.

My friend Roshanna came over with her husband the night before. She has been through this several times, only - much worse. Her husband and John gave me a blessing. I really do feel so grateful for that experience. I remember praying more for Roshanna than for myself.

The recovery was pretty standard. I had a few minor complications, and had everything treated. I think the hardest part was having my body adjust to no longer being pregnant, and getting my emotions back in control.

Everything has changed for me since this last experience. This has been the hardest miscarriage for me...much harder than the other three. I feel that I have been inspired, and directed, and am in the process of changing a few things in my life - to eliminate stress. I've also had a greater desire to be a mother. I love my Jaxon so much, and am so blessed to have him. He fills a part in my heart that I am so grateful for, and he has been my little man through all of this.

I do know that somehow I have children waiting to get here, I just wish I knew when and how they would come. It's part of the learning, growing, and having Faith process - isn't it. I also know that this has been an experience that has shown me who my true friends and family are. I know that I couldn't do this without their support.

I now understand that what I went through was much more common than I thought before. So many women have endured so much in order to bring our little ones here. It's so inspiring to hear all of their stories, and how their experiences have touched my life for the good. I am grateful for my husband, for his love, his kindness, and how much he has truly changed over this last year. He really is one amazing man! For now, I'm moving forward and doing the best I can do every day. I have hopes that one day I will be a mother again, and have faith that it will happen on the Lord's time.

Christmas Chocolate Chip Cookies

This is one of my favorite chocolate chip cookie recipes. These cookies are nice and big, the kind you find in a bakery, but even better, because you made them!

4 cups all-purpose flour
1 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. salt
1 1/2 cups unsalted butter (melted)
2 cups brown sugar (firmly packed)
1 cup white sugar
2 tablespoons vanilla extract
2 eggs
2 egg yolks
3 1/2 cups semisweet chocolate chips or chunks

Preheat oven to 325 F. Grease cookie sheets. Combine flour, baking soda and salt in one bowl. In another bowl, cream melted butter and both the brown sugar and white sugar until well blended. Beat in the vanilla, egg, and egg yolk until the consistency is light and creamy. Mix in the flour, baking soda and salt from the other bowl until blended. Stir in the chocolate chunks by hand. Drop 1/4 cup of dough onto the prepared cookie sheets. The cookies should be about 3 inches apart as they spread a bit. Bake for 13 to 14 minutes (I take them right out at 13 minutes, and they stay chewy that way) at 325F or until golden brown. Let sit on baking sheets for a few minutes before transferring to wire racks to cool completely.

Weight Loss Update

Okay, so here goes, this picture was taken in August, so I'm down a little more since this was taken. It's the holidays, and I'm trying really hard to remember my new healthy habits...

Here I am...

August 2010.

Disneyland or Bust 2010

It wouldn't be a White Christmas without having at least one trip to Disneyland this year. We traded our Turkey Dinner in for a Mouse! John's Parents, his Sister Amanda (& Brad), his Brother Boyd (Angie & the boys) & Aunt Thelma all packed up to Cali together. We had a wonderful time getting away!

We love Animation Station!

Jax & Pluto

We all love Mickey!

We stayed in Newport. Our resort was wonderful. We had a terrific time - just playing, and spending time as a family.

Thanksgiving at Laguna Beach 2010

Going to the beach for Thanksgiving was a great idea! It was freezing, but Jaxon was able to climb through the rocks and see the tide pools. It was unseasonably cold for Southern California, but we didn't miss the snow!

Being Corny at Cornbellys

We love a good corn maze! This year we took Jaxon and his little buddy Parker. We had a blast!

Parker & Jaxon (I made them take turns getting pictures being the "girl"...lol).

Jaxon driving the pedal bike.

Parker doing some quick maneuvers!

Yes, Yes, I am aware it is no longer July

Okay, so here's the scoop. I've been so crazy (and I mean crazy) busy that I haven't made the blog my priority. I've taken hundreds of pictures, and hope to have an update posted soon. I'm working 2 - yes that is TWO jobs (both Gov’t), being a mom & wife, am a Cub Scout leader, and am going to school part time...so my life consists of work, housework, 8 year olds, and the library...that's about it.

Jaxon's Baptism

Jaxon was baptised October 9, 2010. It was a wonderful day for our family. Jaxon has such a fun, happy, loving, and giving personality. It was such a blessing to see him so excited and happy about being baptised. We had a very spiritual experience when he was baptised, it was wonderful. After the service John's sisters put together a wonderful luncheon. My friend Betta took a few snap shots during the luncheon so we could remember this wonderful day!

It's GREAT to be 8!

Our little Man!

He didn't like getting his pictures taken, but he was a trooper!

John & Jaxon

Me & Jax

Our little family.

The Phillips Gals.

I didn't have time to edit this picture, but I think it's a great family picture for the Phillips clan!

Jaxon's 8th Birthday

Jaxon finally turned 8! What a wonderful time for our family. It was just amazing! I can't believe how big he is, and what a great person he is turning out to be. This year we planned a Star Wars themed birthday party. I had a lot of great idea's, and many wonderful family members and friends who came to help and support! We invited his ENTIRE (yes, you read that right...entire) 2nd grade class. I learned a very valuable lesson in what the true meaning of RSVP is (pretty much, nobody rsvp's).

Christmas in July?

I drove into work the other day and there was Christmas Music on the radio! I LOVED IT!! Whahoo!!! I love Christmas!!! As I started to notice...many stores, and shops around town started to celebrate Christmas in July. I love, love, love it! I even watched Christmas Vacation with Jaxon last night! Jaxon does the best impression of Aunt Bethany in that movie..."Did I break wind"... and "The Blessing..." are my favorites! I then found myself going through old pictures from one of my old email accounts and I found this one:

This is Valorey, Grandpa Phillips "Santa", and Jaxon in 2006 (I think). I remember this day so vividly. Dad came over to surprise the kids before Christmas. Jaxon was so excited to see Santa, and Valorey knew right away that it was Grandpa Phillips. So, for that year, Jaxon called every Santa that he saw...Grandpa Phillips Santa!

My Baby Went to Scout Camp!

I can't believe Jaxon is so HUGE! Time has just flown by! Jaxon had the fun opportunity to go to Scout Camp with the Weeblos (how the heck do you spell that anyway) this year...only because John was called as the Cub Scout Master. Jaxon will officially be in Cub Scouts in October. I don't know anything about Scouts, but I know that Jaxon is so looking forward to being a "BOY SCOUT".

Jaxon with the Scouts.

Yep, that's Jaxon - with a REAL bow and arrow. It's a good thing that I wasn't there because that scares me to death... A bunch of 10 year old boys...with bow and arrows around my baby? Yikes!

4th of July Weekend 2010

We had a wonderful Independence Day…weekend…celebration. Friday night was spent preparing for Saturday. Saturday, we went to the West Jordan parade. It was unusually cold during the parade, and I found myself wrapped in a quilt until almost noon! I didn’t take any pictures at the parade because selfishly, I spent most of it finishing the book, “The Help”, by Kathryn Stockett. I loved it! Once the parade was over we headed to John’s parents for some dinner and fireworks.

Sunday we went to Wolf Creek with John’s parents. We took Valorey with us. We swam, watched movies, and then spent all day Monday at Pineview Reservoir. It was a little chilly, but it didn’t keep Valorey and Jaxon out of the water! I just relaxed on the shore while John spent some time fishing. It was very relaxing! We hope everyone had a wonderful 4th of July! Most importantly, we are so grateful for our Country and those that sacrifice for us!

See...I was there too!

Weight Loss Update ***

Here I am... Well, this was taken the first part of June.

Looking at those pictures of my wedding in my last post…I can remember feeling so “fat”. Why did I ever do that to myself? I look at them now and think, wow, I looked pretty dang good!

It’s no secret that I’ve never been a skinny girl. After High School I finally took control of my lifestyle and heredity and lost a bunch of weight. It took a lot of HARD work, and I ran 5 miles every day. Even during my “marathon training” days I still weighted 150 lbs! I kept the weight off until, hormones, and pregnancy set in…since then, well, I haven’t been so happy with myself. I have spent many years working towards weight loss, and I have had a new awakening!

Well, as of today, I’m only 14 pounds away from my goal weight!! I decided that I needed to post a weight loss update. This picture isn’t very good, but it’s something. It was taken when Emily & I went to the Park City Condo for a night to get away. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, and thought…I wonder what I look like…not looking at myself. Emily was so nice to me…giving me compliments and telling me how good I looked. I still think she looks skinnier than ever, even at 9 months pregnant!

Anyhow, I want to get some new family pictures taken so I will post them after we get them taken. I fell terrific! I have so much more energy than before, and I love shopping…and fitting into a size 8-10! I still have a sweet tooth that hasn’t gone away, but I have so much greater appreciation for what I eat, how I exercise, and the things that my body is able to do. I feel very blessed! For now, I'll just keep working!

Thanks Em, for being my friend through "thick & thin"! And don't kill me for posting this prego picture! You look great!!!

Nine Years & Counting

WE MADE IT!!!

Today is our 9th Anniversary! I am so excited. I haven’t felt this good in a long time! We have had a few very hard years, and I am so happy to have those times behind us. We have learned, grown, forgiven, loved, and appreciated each other – time and time again.

Last year at this same time my life seemed so hopeless. I feel so bright, happy and proud of who I am and what I have accomplished in my life. I am so grateful that I have a very loving husband and the most wonderful son in the world! I am truly lucky! Nine years ago, I knew I was making the right decision…without a doubt! I am so glad that I did!

Happy Anniversary John! I love you!