I'm getting ready to start my new position tomorrow and have been "feeling guilty" for not being a stay at home mom. I have a lot of feelings on this subject. I know in my heart that I'm a good mom, but it's hard to be away from Jaxon during the day. I'm not the first thing that he sees when he gets home from school and I wish I could be there to hear all about his day. I usually ask him him how his day went or what happened at school, but because it's usually six o'clock and dinner time, the response is usually, "I don't know", or "good".
I know that Jaxon is well taken care of while I'm at work, but the worry never goes away. I dedicate part of each night with him just to talk, play games, and have some good one on one time. I love him so much. Being a working mom has been pretty much a necessity for our family. It's not necessarily a bad thing, it's just reality. I now realize that even if we can or will have other children, that work for me will be a reality and that I will have to step things up. I learned this summer more than ever that I need to put my shoulder to the wheel and get things going with my career again. The caveat - How to balance work life, with family life, with being a mom & wife, with church, and service, and the needed "alone time". I try to do the best that I can. Some days I fall short, and other days I'm just completely selfish, but none the less what all these days have in common is my ever lasting love for my little Jaxon. I know that as I teach him to chose the right, to be a good citizen, and to be true to himself and to Heavenly Father that all will be well.
