What is Changing my life... The PeaceGiver

It's no secret that I've had a very difficult summer...in fact it's been a very difficult couple of years. I've been stuck in a place I never thought I would be in. It's as simple as that. I've spent a lot of time on my knees, with my bishop, with good friends, late nights watching KBYU devotionals, reading scriptures (and in no way do I want to discredit these things!), but I always seemed to feel stuck in the way that I felt and thought. It was sheer torture. I became tangled in a blackness that I didn't know where I started, or where it ended.

Without divulging too much personal information... I was in my own personal hell. Well, after many months of many miracles I am finally climbing my way out of the blackness that seemed so much a part of me for so long. The book The Peace Giver had so much to do with me coming out of everything black I had become. It is an AMAZING book.

This book has helped me recognize the things I can control and change to make my life, and my marriage the eternal focused entity that it should be. I feel so strongly that this book has really saved my marriage.

Yes, that's right... Saved (SAVING)my marriage. John and I are working things out and re-building our relationship brick by brick in order to become the eternal couple and family that we had set out to become eight years ago. Words can't express how bad things really had gotten between us, and for all respective purposes... I don't ever want to remember or go back. I gave John a copy of this book as well, and recommend it to everyone who is or will be married. It's changed my life!

Whaa Hoo!

So, since I got married and had Jaxon it's been no surprise that I've gained some weight. Well, I'm proud to say that after 7 years I'm finally coming back into my own skin!

I've lost 50lbs, and I am hoping to start running again soon (if my leg will hold out).

It's completely humiliating to admit that I have gained enough weight to admit just how much I have lost, but I am so proud of myself at the same time. Weight has been a life long struggle, and it really has affected my self esteem so severely. Unless you've struggled with it...you will never know or be able to understand the pain, humiliation, and hardship it can be.

I have dreaded pictures for several months, but when I get a chance I'm going to post some on here because I need to see them for me!

The Pumpkin Patch.

John took us to a Pumpkin Patch for a Hayride, and to get some pumpkins. We all woke up early so we could go see "Astro-Boy" at the theatre, but we arrived late, and so...off we went to Layton to get some pumpkins.

It was an "old fashioned" hayride...LOL.

Jaxon & Val.

Val had a great time! We love it when she comes to stay with us! Notice Val's hair... LOL, they were doing "Astro-Boy" hair do's at the Movie (that we couldn't get into) and she had her hair in a HUGE Mohawk. She wore it that way the entire day. It was SOOO funny!

Jaxon wanted this one.

Jaxons 'White Family' Birthday Party

John threw a party for Jaxon's 7th birthday. All of Jaxon's Aunts & Uncles on the White side were so kind and came to the party with all kinds of presents. This party was at Jungle Jims in West Jordan. It was pretty cool.

Jaxon opening the Shark book from Aunt Amanda. It was much funnier in person!

Most of the Clan.

I'm sure everyone loves me for this picture!

Cousin Alyssa & Jaxon.

Toys from Aunt Gwenda.

Yum.

Cousin Logan & Jaxon.

Digging in for Pizza.

Jaxon & Logan.

Aunt Rebecca & Cousin Helen.

Aunt Amanda Bona & Cousin Rachel.

Me & John (I know, I look horrible...urrggh)
Uncle Brad & Uncle Boyd.

Cousin Spencer & Benjamin.

Little Man's 7th Birthday Party

Jaxon wanted a Super Mario Galaxy Birthday theme this year. It was incredibly hard to find anything remotely close to Super Mario in the party stores, so I had to get creative. This is what we wound up with... Oh, yeah, and let me back up... While creating the birthday invitations... Jaxon invited his entire first grade class!

This is Jaxon's rendition of "Super Mario Galaxy" hi favorite Wii game.

Jaxon and his best Buddies...waiting for the party to start. They were watching a Super Mario Video.

I made a Mario hat. It was the cheapest and fastest thing I could come up with. Red hats are impossible to find in Salt Lake as soon as Utes Football Season Start.

I didn't want to buy a cake, so I made "Super Mario Mushrooms" - Cupcakes, of course.

I tried my best to make them look like the real mushrooms from the Video game.

Jaxon with a the early bird "buddies".

Jaxon's best friend Zac - so proud of the b-day decorations.

What kind of mother let's her child outside in October without shoes!

I boiled some eggs and we played "Yoshi's egg toss". It was pretty funny!

We served pizza in the "Piranha Pizza Planet".

Four pizza's just barely did it. First graders are HUNGRY!

Thank you Lexi & Maddy for helping me decorate!

Blowing out the Birthday Candles.

Opening Presents... He was very spoiled!

SUPER MARIO GALAXY!!!

The Piniata... Nobody got hurt!

Well, almost...

More egg games... I think it went over well.

Jaxon being CoRnY at CornBellys!

We made a quick trip to Provo on a weeknight. I was still in heels and Jaxon wanted to go to the Corn Maze... So we just did it! It was so fun! I highly recommend tennis shoes! We got lost, and had a great time!

August & September

I haven't been able to download a lot of my pictures this summer because my computer needs a serious tune up. I have had a great time with my little Jaxon this summer and wanted to share a few pictures (cell phone - sorry not the best quality).

I had to drive down to Ut County so I decided to take Jaxon and his best friend Zac to Thanksgiving Point. We used to have a pass when we lived in Provo and we haven't been in a while. Jaxon and Zac were so good!

I can't believe how big Jaxon is getting! He isn't afraid of the giant Shark anymore. Lol!

I took Jaxon with me to a meeting and he got "really bored" so I let him draw on some presentation posters. After my meeting I looked at his picture and it nearly brought tears to my eyes! What a cute little guy! Yep, that's me, Jaxon and our house (imagine that...the grass is green).

During my surgical recovery I volunteered at Jaxon's school. Here he is in the computer lab. He loves being on the computer. I had a good time watching all the first graders use their computers!

Jaxon has a new favorite game on the wii - Super Mario Galaxy. He's even having his 7th birthday with the Super Mario Galaxy theme. I wouldn't recommend it because it's so hard to find the stuff to match the theme, but thank goodness for online purchases and some creativity that I borrow mostly from Allison! This is Jaxon's rendition of Super Mario Galaxy via White Board.

Jaxon has been so wonderful this summer/fall. He is truly an amazing little boy. Although he knows what is going on to a small extent with his family he has remained hopeful, prayerful, and happy. Here he is sleeping with his favorite bear. We had just finished reading a bear story that night before bed.

Okay, this one is funny. Jaxon LOVES Lego's. I mean, he crazy loves them. I am always stepping on them, vacuuming them up, finding them in the car, on the table, in the tub...etc. Anyhow, when we were going through his room for D.I...I noticed that his piggy bank was full to the brim. I thought what the heck... We're most likely moving anyway, let's go get something with that money. So, Jaxon took the money from his piggy bank and bought his very own Lego set. Did I mention those things take PHDs to put together? It took me 8 hours.

Lastly, we are looking forward to being together as a family this fall/winter. I have witnessed many miracles and hardships in my life and know that better things are at our doorstep. We hope that you will be one of them!

Talk By Margaret Smoot - BYU Womens Conference 2001

I listened to this talk today. It was a good one. I am disappointed that I can't find a published version of this though...urrggh. Can anyone find this talk on text? Let me know! I want it! :)

Thanks Be Unto God For His Unspeakable Gift
Speaker: Margaret Smoot Event: BYU Women's Conference 2001 Date Given: May 4, 2001

Love Quote by: Randy Hardmann

Sister Ardeth Kappsaid, “Love is the greatest force in the world and when it is blocked, painresults. We can kill the love so that itstops hurting, but then of course part ofus dies too. Or, we can ask God to openup another route for that love to travel.”